once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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