her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Sober January is a disaster.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
