I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
