I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
