i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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