its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
