This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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