They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
