mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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