Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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