I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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