Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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