We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
