What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
