ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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