I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
