i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
