ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
