yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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