Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize