Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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