Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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