I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
