Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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