So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
