After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
