it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
