She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
