i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
