yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
