Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
