My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
