I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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