David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
