i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
