Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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