Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
