how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
