i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
