she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
