My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
