yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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