Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
