fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
