Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
