you would pick up someone in the library
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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