I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
