Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize