love makes seman taste better
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
