So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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