i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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