Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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