We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
