If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize