Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
