Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
