party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
