i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
