im drinking this country out of the recession.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
