Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
