so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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