Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
where are my eyebrows?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
