How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize